“Let’s go around and say one thing you’re grateful for.”
“Practice gratitude for five minutes a day.”
“Everyday, write down three things you are grateful for.”

Just be grateful. It sounds so easy.

And really, saying you are grateful is fairly easy, “Oh, yeah, I’m grateful for my husband because he’s a good dad. I’m grateful for my healthy body, even if it’s lumpy in ways I’d rather it not be. I’m grateful for my mom, she is so supportive.”

But experiencing true gratitude is actually quite hard.

Why?

Feeling real gratitude is extremely vulnerable, and if you aren’t in the practice of feeling vulnerability, it is deeply uncomfortable.

Let me explain. Feeling gratitude goes something like this:

I watch my husband swing our toddler up from the ground into a hug. He grabs her hand and dances her around the living room. He rubs noses with her. She shrieks with joy. And I am watching from the kitchen sink. And I forget about everything I have to do. I forget about the petty argument we had, and the baby’s meltdown, and the bills.

Instead, I let myself smile. I soak in the moment, like a flower in the sun. I feel it in my chest, in my stomach, such pure joy.

My brain kicks in: Don’t get used to this. You know you can lose it all in an instant. Matt could get in a terrible car accident and what if the baby is with him and you lose her too. You’ll have nothing. You’ll be nothing. Better stop feeling happy because it won’t last. And how dare you feel happy when others are suffering and…

[Deep breath]

Just be in it, I tell myself. You’re here now. This sweet moment, her little giggling, his silly song, this is all you have. It is all you will ever have. Enjoy it while it lasts.

I watch them dance and I notice the feelings in my body. The warmth in my chest radiates. My stomach feels full. My shoulders burn.

It’s so intense. It’s not pain, just sensation. And I am still learning how to hold it without collapsing into worry or shame.

I think that might be what real gratitude is: holding full the sensation of it all. Allowing yourself to have this moment with your whole heart, even though you know it will end. Because everything ends.

Because when we let the sweetness of the moment wash over us, it’s like open-heart surgery. We are transformed. And our hearts work better after all.

The Mama Network’s first party is this Saturday, y’all!

My friend’s kiddo expressed excitement about this event because her little one really wants to write to Santa but does not want to sit on his lap. I get that. Introverts welcome here. Hot chocolate abounds.

Plus, if you are walking around town on Small Business Saturday, and you need a breather, we’ve got a couch and a coffee for you, Mama.

We are excited to collab with the Nik Shehu Property Group and Sunshine Sister Coffee Co. for this event. More details here.

Let’s all take a moment to digest, then come on down and get some hot chocolate! A very happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

With love,

Elise